Noah today

Sure many have seen this floating around, but it is worth a thought!

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England and said:

"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: "You have six months to build the ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months pass, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard and there was no ark. "Noah! He roared, I'm about to start the rain! Where is the ark?"

Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, but things have changed.

I NEED A BUILDING PERMIT.

I've been arguing with the boat inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighbourhood By-Laws by building the ark in my backyard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local planning committee for a decision. Then the local council and electricity company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the ark move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but it was a no go!.

When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn't build the ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work. The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with ark building experience. To make matters worse, the Inland Revenue seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

Forgive me, Lord, however, it appears it will take at least ten years for me to finish the ark. Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "you mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord.

"It appears the Government beat me to it."